Yes I know you think I’m totally heartless and chronically cynical and further to this I know that by simply telling you that I’m neither of these things won ‘t change this incorrect perception but I’m sat here with some time to kill so I’ll explain my reasoning anyway.
Let me start by being completely clear and frank, I despise beggars, I think they are lazy, a product of their weak will, poor choices and to a lesser degree by society’s misdirected charity more than simply victims of consequence as is the general consensus. Monkeys on the other hand rank only slightly higher in Shaun’s Book of All Good Things and this is simply because their ability for opportunism is a curiosity of mine. Were it not for this interesting trait which indicates a level of intelligence higher than where I had them pegged then they would be pretty much no more than disease carrying vermin as far as I’m concerned. Now some might have you think that these tree climbing rats rank right up there with Africa’s big 5, that they are pitifully endangered and in dire need of our protection but this is rubbish. Monkeys are plentiful and they don’t need any help from us in terms of survival more than we need help in opening a tube of Pringles. Yes we have taken some of their natural habit for our own purposes and I’m sure you feel awful about this and more than a little bit guilty (hence your overcompensation?) but the truth is we have just made their lives easier. Food and Water is plentiful in suburbia you see and these guys are thriving. So much so you really don’t need to be putting food out for them anymore than Katie Price needs another boob job. They are just fine in the little slice of heaven that we have carved out for them. Thriving infact.
Now back onto beggars. I detest this group so much that even saying the word beggar evokes a bitter taste of bile in my mouth. They are not cute and there is nothing curious or remotely interesting about them either. But wait before you defriend me on the multitude of social networks and cross me off your Christmas card list think about why you feel so sympathetic for them. It’s because you think they are helpless right? Or perhaps because you feel undeserved of all the nice things you have? Well I can help you here because they are not and you shouldn’t! Beggars have a choice and they chose to stand at the Robots (streetlights) sniffing glue whilst looking as pitiful as possible and taking your hard earned money off you. That’s right you worked for that handful of change and you shouldn’t feel the slightest bit embarrassed about your successes in life. Well done, good work you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your effort. Sure, I’m mindful that this is a long way for you to come in terms of changing the way you see these dirty, lazy, drugged-up societal ticks but try offering them work and see how many takers you get and if any (which will be truly amazing) try and actually get any work out of them. When you have completed this little exercise you will I am certain start to see things my way or the right way as we shall call it from now for purposes of preciseness. You will then also begin to realise that we have a problem brought about by nothing more than a flaw in human nature than by our collective doing that is being exacerbated by societies grossly misguided and guilt motivated attempts to bring about short term relief.
We have to stop feeding and fuelling the problem people. What I am saying here is not cruel. Propping up a species or a group of individuals for a short time while they get their shit together is fine and the right thing to do but we can’t do this forever. The present situation in both examples is cruel as it is fostering considerable co-dependency that is notsustainable long term. It is high time we step out of the loop and see how much better nature restores balance. Trust me we are just in the way here.
